no, he came in my armpit
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
