love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
