Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
