Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
