i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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