well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
