I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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