So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
