i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
