you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
