you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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