the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
handjob tips. give me some.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
