I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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