Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
