i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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