problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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