I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
