Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
