I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
