I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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