First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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