don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
