haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
