If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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