Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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