where am i from again
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
