I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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