Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
