Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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