If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
