i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
