CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
