lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
