The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
