My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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