Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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