My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
