one two three fourrrrnication!
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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