nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
