Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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