Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
