whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
