i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
