and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
