It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
