i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
