All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
