I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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