Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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