it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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