you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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