Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I puked a lego.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
