how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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