The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
