Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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