You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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