is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize