nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Oh god it's open bar.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize