what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
