I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
